A few months ago, the person I thought who was going to be my life partner asked me, “Why do you even WANT a life partner? Why is that so important to you?” The question stopped me dead in my tracks…I was thinking, “How can you even ask that?!” <jerk!> I know, my feelings were just hurt…good question!
Well, I was so shocked, I couldn’t come up with a better reason other than, I just want it. And, I don’t think I’m the only one in the world who wants it. (obviously.) There are many benefits to having a partner in crime…companionship, safety, someone to share not only living expenses…but living spaces as well. There is a part in every human (unless you’re a sociopath) who craves the not only the physical intimacy, but the emotional and intellectual intimacies as well and there is something special about sharing all three with one person. When I thought of these reasons…I realized that they all have one thing in common, which is how having a relationship serves ME. Sure it’s mutually beneficial…I mean, the other person is experiencing companionship, security and all that jazz too.
But I kept going back to how special it is to share a life with somebody…what about it is so special? And, after a long time, I think I’ve figured it out…FOR EVERYBODY! No, just kidding. But here’s what I came up with:
(It’s really beautiful, I think…so be prepared.)
run really fast if you see this guy
From my understanding of yogic philosophy, everything in the Universe is One. The separation we experience in life/the world is an illusion. In other words, this is not real. (But if a murderer is chasing you, please run because we do still die when killed.) The word yoga means to yolk…or to merge with your true Self, hence, to the divine and experience real Love (or universal identification). Now, it seems to me that all religion has this background of Love and forgetting about the individual or ego in order to become selfless and serve and all that good ‘n holy stuff.
Sounds beautiful, right? Right. Now, somehow we as people have a real talent for distorting all this stuff to fit our own needs. And, if everyone not only knew this, but understood it and lived it, the world would be a totally different place. (But, the world doesn’t even exist as we know it, right?) Ugh, could this be more complicated?
Although I have a knowledge of this philosophy, I cannot pretend to truly understand it and live by it. I mean, really, who can? Unless you’re Jesus or some other enlightened being…and even then, I would have my doubts.
So what does all this talk on universal love have to do with life partnership? Well, as it stands right now, we humans (for the most part) cannot possibly conceive of living life this way. However, we have an opportunity I believe, to experience this type of Love on a smaller scale, one we can relate to. And that, folks, is the LTR (long-term relationship, if you don’t obsessively read personal ads or missed connections on Craigslist. Which, by the way, I would highly recommend to everybody because boy are these people hilarious!)
Painting by Alex Grey
I imagine that in an ideal partnership, despite the fact that I will benefit from certain factors, there is an opportunity to experience true identification with another. (Not to be read as enmeshment, people.) Meaning that I have an opportunity to see and create divinity in action. I can create a relationship that is not just about me and what I want, but about the other person as well…and together, we work and strive for something greater than each other. It seems that a partnership is a way to experience this universal love thing that eludes me on a daily basis. I mean, if this is love on a smaller scale, maybe I can work up from there. Or maybe not, who knows?
Sounds beautiful, right? It surely does. But, let’s not forget all the actual work that goes into creating this. The decisions, compromises, personalities and daily obligatory duties we have to fulfill…makes it a bit trickier than one might think.