How you know for sure that you are in fact, a human

You are probably not this unicorn...but if you are, email me!

Are you questioning your humanity?  Perhaps someone else’s is in question?  Well, folks, I have completed a quick check list for these OMG moments.  I hope that it will prove to be a quick go-to guide if you (and everyone you know) is unsure of what it means to be human.

Here it goes:

You know you’re human if…

1)  you’ve ever found yourself completely absorbed with yourself.  Think of having a conversation with somebody and just waiting for your turn to talk.  

2)  you’ve been totally selfless.  If you have given something (time, effort, money, etc) for the pure fact of giving and not based on what you will receive.

3)  you’ve overreacted in some way.  For instance, crying over that cancer commercial that plays the song, “Wind Beneath My Wings.”  (Ok,  you might also be menstruating…but that just further proves your humanness!  oh…and guys, you menstruate too, so don’t think this doesn’t apply).  Or, blowing up at somebody for something trivial, like arriving a little late or forgetting to take the turkey out of the oven.   

4) you’ve underreacted.  Like…remember the time so-and-so really did you wrong and you pretended like it was no big deal?  Like your feelings weren’t hurt and the person can go ahead and do it again for all YOU care.

5)  you’ve successfully reacted to a situation.  You were not ashamed of how you communicated your thoughts and/or feelings about something. And, your decision honored You as a person.  (Yesss!!! it feels good to be a human today!) 

6)  you knew what you were doing was wrong…but went ahead and did it anyway.  (Well, at least you can be proud that you are someone who follows through on something.)  Think of running a red light, or going back to that same-old unsuccessful, bitterly hurtful relationship, or judging negatively on another girl simply because you think someone else thinks she’s prettier than you.  (umm…this didn’t happen to me, but a friend of mine…in fact, I think she was like my 3rd cousin twice removed or something.  I’ll double-check with my mom and get back to you on that.)

7)  you did the right thing!  Yay!!  It can be done!  I swear it.  On my life…well, on my 3rd cousin’s twice removed life anyway.)

8)  are you cycling between all of these things?  Meaning sometimes and with some people you are nice and friendly, other times self-consumed and unfriendly? 

Well, I’m here to tell you that don’t worry!  You are NOT some sort of psychopath, greedy, animalistic, asshole, god of all things high and mighty unicorn.  You are, in fact, a real human being!  Have no fear. 

(Well, try not to anyways)


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