Everyone’s an asshole to somebody

Yes,  even I am included in that statement.  I know, I know…hard to believe right?

I’ve been trying my whole life to be well-liked by everyone.  And, I’m finally sick of it.  Not that I want to be a cold-hearted you-know-what to all the people I encounter…

…But let’s face it: 

1) Not everyone thinks jokes about cancer and pedophiles are funny.  Strange but true.

2) Not everyone wants to be in the company of someone looking to just have loud, good-old-fashioned obnoxious fun. 

3) I just learned that even if I’m drinking wine…(which I once thought made me elegant and classy) that, if I drink enough  of it, it will make me (and I will take a leap here and go so far as to say YOU too) anything BUT elegant and classy.  Ok, unrelated…SORT OF, but still a good thing to know.

4) My definition of well-liked is a little bit skewed because when I think of being well-liked, I think of being the best.  Which, to my disappointment, I found is impossible.  (lol, just kidding.)  It’s only a disappointment to my Ego. 

And, what a relief it was to finally figure out that impossibility.  There is no way I can be the funniest, smartest, prettiest, bravest, healthiest, most talented, honest, compassionate, caring, kind, loving, nurturing, giving, hottest and best scrabble player out there to you all. 

Phew. 

And, sometimes I’m in a bad mood.  I just had to face it:  I am a human too.  Which means, that I honk my horn at your slow-ass in traffic, and if you’ve made me angry I have probably passively aggressively farted while walking by you.  (sucker!)

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2 responses to “Everyone’s an asshole to somebody

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