Sometimes, this is a lot harder than it sounds. When things are going “my way”…whenever I’m “getting what I want”…It’s really easy to be content with how things are presently. And of course this is true. I can just BE happy and content that things are unfolding according to my well-thought out life plan.
Occasionally, it is enough for me to “just be” when I’m feeling depressed or sad or lonely or angry or a host of other negative intangibles. I mean, who can honestly be peaceful and content one hundred percent of the time? So I know that when these emotions arise within, that they are momentary…they will pass, and I can be ok even when I’m not ok…but only because I know that I’m really ok. (Hilarious, right?) In Vedanta, this is known as using your intellect to govern your mind. Or, in psychology, operating I/E. (Familiar with that equation? It’s intelligence over emotion.)
However, when life-plan A has failed and I resort to life-plan B…which is really just transitional, things can get really tough. At times I find my intellect weakened as I entertain less than productive thought patterns. (To put it nicely.) And all of a sudden, it seems that I am not enough where I am–my job, my finances, my hobbies, my living situation, the way I relate to the world. Believe me when I tell you that this list could go on…
I read an article on elephantjournal once titled: Why It’s Good to Lay Broken in a Pile on Your Bedroom Floor. I try to remember this article during a really tough time. The author talks about this lesser known hindu goddess named She-Who-Is-Never-Not-Broken, who is a metaphor that we as humans are always changing…we are always being broken and putting ourselves back together again…and that when this process ceases, our life ceases as well.
Also, my sister once said that we are like banks of a river. All the people and objects of the world that pass by us, shape us (like the water of a river!)…and our shapes are constantly shifting and changing.
Although I cannot hold on to life-plan A, I can at least have a say in how these events shape me as a human. I could become bitter and self-loathing (not that this behavior exudes me 100% of the time…so I’m NOT perfect, ok?!) OR I could use these events to analyze why things didn’t work out…and how I can change my behaviors to better ensure a positive outcome for next time…and also learn how to better assess people and situations so I might have that Plan A, which by the nature of the world has already evolved and changed.
And, in the meantime, writing this has already helped me to be OK with just being…even if I feel pretty miserable, I also feel pretty damn good too.